Requiem of Memories
by Amagake
Summary: 900 years of memories, and these are just the highlights. A collection of short drabbles.
1. Shadows of the Mind

**Shadows of the Mind**

Rating: K

Warnings: Spoilers for "Doomsday" and "The Runaway Bride." Also a very angsty Doctor.

Summary: The hole the pain had opened was filled with darkness.

"_Remember, it's always darkest before the dawn."_

"_What dawn? We're in the arctic, remember?"_

_- Holly Short and Artemis Fowl, __The Arctic Incident_

The only sound that the Doctor could her was the thrum of the TARDIS's engines. He was alone again. For a little while, the room had been filled with Donna Noble. Loud, argumentative, brave Donna Noble. But also smart and intelligent Donna Noble who knew better than to run off with some strange man in a Police Box that was bigger on the inside. _Pity that a certain blonde hadn't been so smart. _Assoon as he had the thought, he regretted it. Much as that loss hurt, it was better to have had her for a little while than to not have had her at all.

The Doctor tried in vain to shake off the fog of loneliness and grief that was collecting around his mind. His efforts weren't aided by the fact that Rose's shirt was still hanging over the railing where Donna had left it (after she had accused him of kidnapping. He supposed that that was more accurate than he was willing to admit. They might come with him willingly, but the end was never pleasant, much like a kidnapping.) He picked it up and held it, memorizing its texture and it's scent before he turned around and headed down the hallway.

He stopped before a plain door and then stood still for a moment with his hand on the door knob, bracing himself. When he pushed it open, he found it just as she had left it. The bed was unmade, some of her clothes were scattered on the floor. It still smelled like her. He stepped into the room, his face carefully blank, and forced himself to begin picking up after her. Every piece of clothing was gently put away, the bed was made up neatly. He stood in the center of the room and looked around. Soon, he knew, the scent would fade and be replaced with the regular boring old TARDIS smell, but the memories would stick around longer. His memory was good, sometimes he thought far too good, for them to fade.

But he could run. He was very good at that. He turned and strode from the room, shutting the door behind him. _Lock it, please._ He asked his TARDIS, and she obeyed, although he could feel her anxiety for him leaking into his mind. _What are you so worried about?_ He asked her and then added bitterly, _I'm a survivor, remember?_

She didn't answer his question, instead choosing to ask him a question of her own. _Why don't you find another companion?_ She was trying to communicate the idea that they might be a distraction, but that had nothing to do with it. Really, she just wanted her Time Lord not to be so desperately alone.

He leaned against the console in the main room, not even really remembering how he got there. _They won't be Rose._

_I know._ She replied. _But it will make the night a little less dark._

He scoffed out loud. _No._

He felt her thoughts beginning to form his name, to argue, to try to convince him.

_This darkness never goes away._

**A/N:** Hello fellow Whovians. I have now officially stepped into the world of Doctor Who fanfiction. I don't expect to be leaving it anytime soon.

This is the first story in a collection of drabbles. My plan (unless something drastic and unexpected happens) is to publish a drabble a week. They won't really have any common theme (although most of them involve the Doctor) some of them will be shorter than others. Really though, these are just too fun to write. :)

**Now we come to a fairly important note:** I am in dire need of a beta for these stories. I have a few other ones written and I desperately need someone to read over them, not so much for the actual story, but to make sure that I'm being true to the characters. Please PM if you're interested. I suppose this is also part advertisement, because I'm also willing to beta anything anyone wants me to from any fandom that I know something about (as long as there is no slash or lemons. Sorry, I just don't do those.)

Thank you all, especially those who read through my obnoxiously long A/N.

- The slightly sleep deprived Amagake


	2. A Hand to Hold

**A Hand to Hold**

Rating: K

Warnings: Spoilers for "Let's Kill Hitler" (06x08)

Summary: She watched her Time Lord writhe in pain and she wished that she could touch his face and ease his pain.

She could feel his pain and she could feel the poison surging through his system and she could feel his helplessness and her helplessness and it stung. Now more than ever she missed the body that she had used for that short wonderful time. She wanted to be alive, to be able to hold him, to be able help him. She wanted to heal her oldest and best friend, the half mad Time Lord that she had stolen and who had stolen her.

So when he stumbled through her door and asked, _begged_, _pleaded_ for a voice interface she reacted without thinking and projected an image of himself, but he immediately protested and so she searched through her data banks and quickly chose her pink and yellow one: the Bad Wolf and the Valiant Child. But that didn't bring out the reaction that she had been hoping for. She felt the image take his breath away and she felt the prick of longing and loss that he felt. She brought out the Brave Solider and the DoctorDonna in quick succession. Finally, with his guilt and longing loud in her ears, she sorted to the bottom of her data banks and found the fragments of data necessary to create a hologram of a young Orangey one. He relaxed slightly, at least until another spasm of pain hit him, but she wished with all her might that she could make it nicer, more human, more like the real Orange one who had greeted her mad man when he had climbed out of his magic box in her back garden. Because, as she starred at her beloved Oncoming Storm, the man that had half an hour left to live, she knew that now more than ever he needed a hand to hold.

A/N: Hello. I have nothing of substance to say here. Just the basic "I can't freaking wait for the Christmas special" and "Why does everything take so long?"

Enjoy, review, whatever.

Lots of love,

Dora


	3. Train of Thought

**Train of Thought**

Rating: K

Warnings: Spoilers for "New Earth" (Season 2 episode 1).

Summary: Now, Rose supposed, was as good a time as any to sit back and enjoy the show.

It was not a comfortable experience, Rose Tyler decided, to be trapped inside her own head without any control. No, it went beyond that. It was a downright pain in the ass to have Cassandra in her head, shifting through her memories and commenting on her body. The woman was strong, there was no denying that, and she was pushing Rose so far into a corner that she could barely think, let alone fight back against the other consciousness.

Of course, this was a two way street. For every desire and memory that Cassandra had access to in Rose's brain, Rose had access to two others in Cassandra's. It was fairly simple to figure out what Cassandra was after.

Money and power. How very unsurprising. Also how very frustrating, since she was still trapped in here with no way to warn the Doctor. It became even more frustrating when he was stranding right in front of her body, smiling like nothing was wrong. She wanted to scream at him _Don't you realize that this isn't me? Do Cassandra and I really act that similar?_ And that fake accent. It almost hurt to listen to it.

Then again, she supposed, he did have a right to be a little bit distracted. (And she did hope that he was distracted because he thought _she_ was snogging him, not just because _someone_ was snogging him.) Cassandra whirled her body around and departed, leaving Rose to contemplate that seeing the absolutely adorable shell shocked expression on the Doctor's face was almost worth her current predicament.

**A/N**: I have no excuse for my inactivity. But fear not! I promise a new one shot next week.


	4. New Memories

**New Memories**

Rating: K

Warnings: Spoilers for "The End of Time" and "Journey's End"

Summary: The dawn of a new year brings a reminder of things lost and things gained.

December thirty-first swept in with a snow muted whisper. Few people roamed the streets and the shops were closed, their fronts blocked off with drifts of powder. Two sets of footprints broke the new fallen snow and lead to a small coffee shop, the only one open on the street.

Rose Tyler sat quietly at a scarred wooden table next to a dangerously thin man who was talking about something or other with an arm thrown lazily around her shoulders and a silly grin on his face. Her hands were wrapped loosely around a mug of cocoa, and she was starring out into the street, not paying any attention to her companion.

"You're not listening to me at all, are you." Her human Doctor's voice broke through her reverie.

Her eyes immediately snapped back to his. "Of course I am. You were going off about…" She paused and then apologized. "I'm sorry."

He placed a warm hand over her own, a look of false seriousness on his face. "Rose Tyler, you should be enthralled by my every word."

"Oh, shove off!" She said with a laugh and playfully elbowed him in the side.

Her Doctor smiled. "What were you thinking about?"

There was a pause and she starred out into space for a moment, drumming her nails absentmindedly on the table. "You have all his memories from before, right?" He nodded, knowing immediately who she was talking about. Although he was a popular topic of conversation, they never used his name. "Do you know when he visited me, then?" He looked confused. "He went back." She explained. "With the body he has now. Back to before the Nestene Consciousness. Met me on my way back home on New Years day 2005." The expression of confusion on his face didn't change. "Don't you remember?"

He shook his head. "He must have done it after." Another vague pronoun. Names were never put to the memories that stung.

She frowned. "But why? Why would he have…" She trailed off and her face crumpled as she put together the pieces. The appearance of drunkenness, the obvious pain that had wracked his body. She swallowed shallowly. "He regenerated."

Her Doctor tightened his arm around her, trying to comfort her. "He's always the same man." He said quietly.

Mournfully, she muttered, "I won't be able to recognize him anymore."

"He wanted to see you one last time with those eyes." Rose glanced up into his face, and found him starring off blankly. Then he looked down at her and smiled. "That's what I would have done."

"He said I'd have a fantastic year." She said with a sad smile, trying to pretend that the moisture in her eyes didn't exist.

"Well, you certainly did." Her Doctor said, his grin growing larger. "You most certainly did."


End file.
